Planning for tomorrow's relationship with your child

Kids, they’re so cute when they’re sleeping, but they don’t sleep all the time. Since our kids are human beings, smaller than us (at least until they hit those teenage growth spurts), and with a lot to learn, we as parents are put in the enviable position of teaching them. They need to learn different things at different stages of their maturing and growing up, and as they pass from one phase to another, they want to learn in different ways.

Luckily, we have authors like Mike Berry (an adoptive father of eight) who is willing to share some of the truths and techniques that he has found during his parenting career. In Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids (Baker Books, 2019) There is a lot of helpful advice, which I like; and he’s managed to avoid the feeling that he’s the expert and we’re all helplessly and hopelessly lost- floundering in the seas of toddler, tween, teen, and young adult.

The reason that he makes this book work is that he is so open and transparent about his own issues with parenting- both on the receiving end, and as a parent. Its not so much ‘this is what you should do’ as it is ‘this is my default position-it rarely if ever has worked, and this has worked better in our family.

There are ‘pros’ to winning an argument, but there are also ‘cons’, and Berry discusses those as a lead-in to setting boundaries. And of course, if you’re anything like every other child in the country you probably know parents like those he describes as Gilmore Girls, Buddy the Elf, General Patton and Mr Strickland.

The core of the book are the 9 keys that he discusses in Part II, “Parenting for the Win”.  Most the things he talks about are things that common sense should tell us, but as manner of us have learned over the years, common sense isn’t always all that common. These keys remind us about consistency, influence, involvement along with love, listening and legacy.

All in all, this is a great read for parents on any stage of the journey. It’s better to start early, but very rarely is it too late to get started investing in tomorrow’s relationship with your children

I received a copy of this book as a member of the publisher’s bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review.

5/5

Is your spirituality upside-down?

We go to church, pray, read our bibles and proclaim ourselves as Christians, but sometimes it seems like there is something missing. We say that we follow Jesus, and that’s a good thing, but sometimes the problem isn’t that we’re not following Him, it’s that the way we act when we think we’re following Him, isn’t quite the way He does things, in fact, sometimes we’re 180˚ degrees off.

                And so, Chad Bird leads us on a quest for answers to the questions “Does it matter what one believes?” and then, “Or is anything okay, just as long as you feel good about it?” For some things it probably doesn’t matter what you believe: some people ‘believe’ that bacon is only for breakfast, while others ‘believe’ that bacon is one of the basic food groups, and as such can, and should, be eaten at any time of the day. But perhaps when it comes to Jesus, we should be a little more particular in making sure that our beliefs are correct.

                And so, we look at Upside-Down Spirituality: the 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life (Baker Books, 2019).  A problem with Christianity in the West today is that numbers are declining, a lot of people are just giving up on organized religion because it really doesn’t seem to meet their needs. We have gotten to the point where Church is so easy that it’s hard to keep people engaged, they get bored and leave. But Christianity and Church was never meant to be merely a spectator sport. There’s more to it than whispering a prayer and then showing up to church once in a while, and at the end of the month if there’s any money left, putting a dollar or two in the collection place.  Church is meant to be an action verb.

                So, Bird leads us through a series of things that well-meaning Christians do on a regular basis, which have no basis in what spirituality should look like. The introduction is appropriately titled Turning Our World Upside Down. I say appropriately because that’s what happened in the first centuries after the resurrection; somehow though we’ve lost that momentum and need to regain it.

                There are 3 sections in the book, several chapters each on areas of our lives, where many of us make mistakes. When Bird talks about ‘ourselves’ in section one, he highlights several things that people fail to do: 1) they fail to believe in themselves, 2) they fail to make (or even try to make) a name for themselves, and 3) they fail to follow their hearts—their passions.

                When it comes to our lives, we make some mistakes too. We beat ourselves up  because we’re not perfect at parenting, we don’t take time to search out our calling so our careers and vocations aren’t as satisfying as we might like, and lastly, when our marriages hit a rocky patch we know it’s because we didn’t find our soulmate, we should have tried harder

And it’s at church also where we sometimes get things backwards. For example, we forget that as a body, as the bride of Christ, we have been set apart, set aside for God's purposes. Instead of trying to change the world, we embrace it, hoping that eventually they will be so enamored with us, that they’ll change on their own to become like us—but why would they? We’ve already changed to be like them.  And of course, we have our own private and personal relationship with Jesus. That’s okay, until it becomes so private, so personal that we refuse to tell anybody about it. Remember the end of each of the Gospel accounts includes a sending, a commissioning: the disciples were sent to the world to proclaim the good news. And go they went-it wasn’t enough to just send a check and hope that someone else would carry the message. And then we forget that there is a place in the world for small churches; as long as they are healthy and doing kingdom work, there’s a need for them, yet we often fall into the trap of bigger is better. And in our search for bigger, we get caught up in all that church has to offer me, and we forget about offering of ourselves to help the church.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher as part of their Bloggers’ program. I was not required to write a positive review. But I did. 5/5

Delightful way to teach about feelings: What Am I Feeling?

Feelings are just that, feelings, they seem real to the person experiencing them, especially at the time, but they really have no control other than that which we give them. In What Am I Feeling? By Dr. Josh and Christi Straub, illustrated by Jane Butler (B&H Kids, 2019), Sam and his friends learn about feelings, what they are and how to handle them. 

                Sam is afraid to share in front of the class, Hudson is happy, Alex gets angry, Sophie is sad and Jennie is jealous. Together the class learns that feelings are not in control of us, and that a good way to deal with them is to identify them and ask God for help. (Coincidentally, over a period of several weeks, I’m trying to teach a group of adults the same thing.)

                By the end of the day, the group of friends are working together to identify their feelings, and they learn how their feelings can sometimes impact others.

                Sam starts out the day feeling afraid, but ends it feeling brave!

                This book has a pull out ‘feeling’s chart’ which can help children identify those feelings which leave them confused at times, and which will remind them that “a feeling is just a feeling. It’s not in charge of you.” And that they can turn to God for help in dealing with it.

                I received a copy of this book as a part of the publisher’s bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review.

                5/5

God Gave Me Grandma has vibrant colors and delightful Rhymes

Written by Pamela Kennedy with illustrations by Xenia Pavlova, God Gave Me Grandma (B&H Kids, 2019) is a delightful book which talks about the loving relationship between a grandmother and grandchild. Obviously in the world today which has so many dysfunctional families, this relationship won’t always exist, but at least the picture is being painted of what things can be like when God and Jesus are present in the home.

                I especially like the fact that each page is illustrated with a different type of animal. Which speaks to me of Revelation 7:9, the great multitude from every nation tribe and tongue. God loves all of us, regardless of  where we live, the color of our skin, our the language we speak.

                Your minis (written for ages 1 thru 4) are going to love the fun rhymes and the vibrant colors!

                I received a copy of this book from the publisher as a part of their bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review.

                5/5

You Can't Tame God. 'None' Greater by Matthew Barrett

Far too many Christians try to put God in a box of their own making. It goes without saying that they don’t succeed, but that doesn’t keep them from trying. There are just too many things about God that get in the way of even their best efforts. Perhaps you’ve even tried to tame God once or twice yourself.

Matthew Barrett, in None Greater: The Undomesticated Attributes of God (Baker Books, 2019) does an admirable job of showing us why we’re never going to domesticate God. Not for lack of trying, but because of who God is. This is theology as you may or may not have seen it presented before. Those who love to argue the finer points will whole-heartedly embrace this book. For those who are little less theologically trained however, it may be a difficult read.

It’s obvious that Barrett has put a great deal of thought and research into this book, but from my point of view it’s more suited to a Theological Seminary classroom than the living room of the average Christian.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher as a participant in their blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review.

4/5

final episode of "JESUS: HIS LIFE" tomorrow on the History Channel. just in time for Easter

This morning I was the supply preacher at a local church. Someone approached the person with whom I was having a conversation and mentioned that there was someone out in the parking lot, acting a little strangely (drugs? Mental illness?), and he wondered what he should do. My suggestion was that since we claim to follow Jesus, maybe we should follow Jesus’ example and offer hospitality: invite him in out of the cold, offer him a cup of coffee, and invite him to stay for church.

         Although it’s not my life verse, I love the sentiment behind a certain passage in the gospel of Matthew, and try to think of these two verses in my dealings with people. Jesus talks in riddles telling His followers that some have treated Him, and others have treated Him poorly. Their confused response is ‘when did we do that?’ and His answer includes a couple of key points. Go ahead and read Matthew 25:31-46 for the full context, but pay special attention to verses 40 and 45.

Mt 25:40 “The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' (NIV)

            Mt 25:45 “He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'  (NIV)

            Bottom line—look for Jesus in every person with whom you come in contact…You might be surprised when you find Him. And let every person with whom you come in contact see Jesus in you.

Speaking of Jesus, the final episode and series finale of “Jesus” His Life” airs this Monday, April 15 on The History Channel. “Jesus: His Life” explores the story of Jesus Christ through a unique lens: the people in his life who were closest to him.  Each episode from the series is told from the perspective of different biblical figures, all of whom played a pivotal role in Jesus’ life. Our final episode explores the special bond between Jesus and Peter, and features Jesus’ loving and unforgettable words, “Feed My Lambs” and ‘Take Care Of my Sheep.”

Synopsis:

“Jesus: His Life” explores the story of Jesus Christ through a unique lens: the people in his life who were closest to him. Each of the eight chapters is told from the perspective of different biblical figures, all of whom played a pivotal role in Jesus’ life including Joseph, John the Baptist, Mary Mother of Jesus, Caiaphas, Judas Iscariot, Pontius Pilate, Mary Magdalene and Peter.

Each figure takes a turn guiding viewers through the emotional and epic story of the most famous man in history, through his birth, death and resurrection, all conveyed through a combination of scripted drama and interviews with prominent religious and historical experts. Utilizing some of the world’s most respected Biblical scholars, historians, faith leaders and theologians, the series weaves together the canonical Gospels, historical sources and cultural context to create a complete portrait of Jesus – the man and the Messiah.  The series finale airs this Monday, April 15 on The History Channel at 8pm ET/PT.

Watch this 3 minute video clip to get an idea of what awaits you in this final episode.

Easter Is Coming by Tama Fortner

Easter Is Coming by Tama Fortner with illustrations by Wazza Pink is a fun book for children which doesn’t talk as much about Easter as it does about God's plan for the salvation of the world. It’s a plan that started with Adam and Eve, continued through the time of the prophets and up to the birth of Jesus.

                After Jesus' birth, there were a number of other people who just didn’t get it.  They knew something was happening, they just didn’t know what. Today though, we do know what was happening, so we see things with a different perspective.

                I was more impressed with the pictures than the way the story was told, but children may get the basic message that Jesus died for our sins, so we can be saved.

                I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review as part of the publisher’s bloggers program.

                4/5