Monday, April 6, 2015

Tips on dealing with conflict: We Need to Talk

How do you successfully navigate conflict? Most people don't have an idea of how to do so; that makes this book  a great resource for anyone in a relationship of any kind. Family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, even people that you only know on social media will at one point have a conflicting opinion from yours, and those minor clashes of opinions can sometimes lead to disaster  if not dealt with.     
                "We Need to Talk: How to Successfully Navigate Conflict" by Dr. Linda Mintle (the Relationship Doctor)( Baker  Books, 2015) is the layman's guide to getting our feet out of our mouths before the a relationship is damaged either to the point that professional help is needed, or the relationship, marriage, friendship is beyond repair.
                Sometimes professional help is needed, and neither the author nor I pretend that this book has all the answers, but in a way it does, because sometimes the answer is to get to a professional, and get there quickly.   Did you get that? Sometimes the answer is to get to a professional, and get there quickly.
                Mintle starts with an explanation of conflict, and goes on to some of the impediments to successful communication. She explains that since we are all different, and in different ways that we need to learn to identify those differences and learn how people cope and react in different ways.
                She addresses several different types of problems, such as blended families, divorce, conflict concerning sex and affection (we're all different there too), how to deal with difficult people, and how to deal with anger - one of the most misunderstood of all emotions.
                One of the strongest points of this book, from my point of view is the focus of the final two chapters: 'Forgiveness' and "We Can Work It Out".  If forgiveness is not included, then the conflict will never be resolved; and it ends on such a note of hope: WE CAN WORK IT OUT!
Although this would be a good reference for anyone working in the field of counseling, it is also a great resource of individuals to help them learn to deal with the conflicts in their lives.
(And this is from me, not the book: remember, sometimes it's best to seek professional help!)


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